When You're Almost 23 & You Look 12

I'm pretty sure that physically, I am still a few years from adolescence. I mean, I got my period almost 10 years ago (very light flow these days, should I be concerned?), I improperly fight zits (I'm very lazy and barely wash my face, but I do save time for washing my face by skipping brushing my hair), and I have stubbly body hair everywhere (also a very lazy shaver.) But body/curve wise, nothing. I can still fit in my original training bras, which I finally threw out last week due to pride and their formerly white, now grey color.

This is all funny because my boyfriend's last name rhymes with pedophile, so his friends naturally tease him about this. This is actually the one thing that really annoys my boyfriend, so I hold back that going on dinner dates with him does remind me of a dream I had when I was five.

Of course, I hold back to him, but I will tell the general public. That's what the general public is for.

It was my first dream about dating. I always had crushes (my first two were in preschool, and I made the teacher blush by being VERY flirty), but this dream was like my entrance into the world of romance (but I wouldn't be kissed until 10 years later, and I don't even want to tell you how many years later until I lost my virginity.)

I was wearing one of those romantic, breezy dresses from old movies. It almost reached my ankles and I could twirl widely in it. I think the dress was blue, or some other color that matched my eyes.

Since this was my first dream of a date, my unconscious made sure I was somewhere comfortable, and dream me started walking to the living room, where my date, Chuck E. Cheese, was waiting.

Chuck E. Cheese was in a black tux, and a swarm of other giant fake mice circled around us, to watch my very first dance, in a fancy grown-up dress, with Chuck E. Cheese.

When my boyfriend and I get pizza, I sometimes think about my first dream date when I was five. When he takes me to fancy dinners, I think of the dress I wore in that dream, and how I am still basically playing dress-up. And when my boyfriend leans in to kiss my goodbye at the end of a date, when he hasn't shaved his face in awhile, I think of how furry Chuck E. Cheese was, and I wonder if my five-year-old unconscious had to deal with the mouse's face tickling me too.

My boyfriend would hate this constant comparison.


Note:  if you liked what you read, or are a regular reader, please comment and share your thoughts below! Also, share any weird five-year-old dates with Chuck E Cheese. Or is that just a me thing?