Friday, April 29, 2016

Tales From The Laziest Person

— The setting for this act starts at nighttime, stars in the sky, when the young woman is alone in her room. Ceiling over the young woman's head, covering her from the cold night. It begins with her huddled in bed. She yawns, because she is lazy. Suddenly, the young woman realizes that she can't take this any more. It's just not for her - but what should she do? —

Act I
Scene I

Young Woman: I don't like working a regular job. I think I will apply to a fancy grad school to study English!

— The young woman pulls out her laptop and researches universities. —

Young Woman: Ugh, they all require a second language! — Thinks — What language can I learn quickly?

— The young woman types in What Is the Easiest Language to Learn? and searches Google. —

Young Woman: — Reading — Many scholars consider Dutch to be the easiest language for English speakers to learn. Many of our words come from the Dutch, and our sentence structures are similar. Hm. I will learn that one!

— The young woman closes her laptop in triumph. She considers beginning this great study now, but then realizes that she is tired and goes to bed. Dutch can wait until next week. —

Scene II

— A week later, the girl is at Barnes & Noble. She finds one book on Dutch, for beginners. —

Young Woman: Ugh! Does this mean I can't learn everything about the language from this one book?

— She looks at the price. —

Young Woman: Ugh, $40! I'm cheap and lazy, so no thank you!

— The young woman leaves without the textbook, but with another smut novel. —

Scene III

Young Woman: I have realized my mistake in the last few days, so I have returned to buy this book and begin my journey in this new language!

— Buys book. —

— Begins to read book. —

Young Woman: Hm, a lot of the words are similar! In is still in! The formal you is just the letter u! I text that to people everyday! I am formal in Dutch everyday! But still. . . .

— Gets an idea. —

Young Woman: I bet I can learn easier, and faster, if I learn Dutch words and then write poems around those words!

— The young woman reads the book for words to fit into a poem. —

Young Woman: I have found most of the words I want for a poem, but this is hard. I'm too new.

— Gets an idea. —

Young Woman: I will write the poem in English first!

— The young woman writes a poem and then tries to find all the phrases in the Dutch book. —

Young Woman: Hm, these words and phrases are sooo scattered across this book. This is hard.

— Gets an idea. —

Young Woman: Ah ha! I will use Google to find the phrases!

— The young woman types her poem into Google to translate. She finishes writing the English poem in Dutch. —

Young Woman: Ah ha, I'm a translator now! And I just started learning Dutch! I bet if I keep going, I will get so far ahead—

— The young woman realizes that she is bored and closes the book. She starts something new. —

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