Dialogue About Consideration For Others

- One week before my boyfriend's birthday. Me and Mom in her car. -

Mom: What are you and [Boyfriend] doing for his birthday?

Me: I'm going to buy him all of his favorite food.

Mom: Aw, that's sweet.

Me: That way, his face will be stuffed so he can't say anything stupid, and it will be less likely that I will yell at him on his birthday.

Mom: I'm surprised you allow him to talk at all.

Me: I know, but I'm trying to train him.

Mom: How so?

Me: For one, I told him he can't ever be gross like Dad.

Mom: How are you going to enforce that?

Me: Whenever Dad says something gross, I look at [Boyfriend] and say NO.

Mom: Hm, that's smart, but it won't last.

Me: It will. He can't say anything gross, until we have children, when they are little and think fart jokes are funny.

Mom: Until!

Me: What?

Mom: Until! You said until!

Me: What?

Mom: I knew it! Dad told me you were only lying about not wanting kids to mess with me!

Me: I meant if I accidentally get pregnant and decide to keep it.

Mom: Until!

Me: If I accidentally get pregnant and decide to keep it.

Mom: You think that annoys me, but it doesn't! I'm pro-choice.

Me: - Then why aren't you pro-my choice? -