Friday, December 4, 2015

Short Blog: Rebelling Against the Parents You Still Live With

I am a 22-year-old college graduate who lives with her parents and brother. I sleep in my childhood bedroom with Twilight and Jonas Brothers posters. I eat from a microwave, always. Cooking is for adults, and since my mother still insists on doing my laundry, clearly I am not one of those.

Many other college students have to adjust from living in a dorm to living with people who always ask "What are you doing today? Where are you going?" Here are some ways to rebel against those nosy, intrusive beings, who think just because they birthed you, feed you, and still house you, they can ask you questions! And daily! The nerve!

1. Go to bed without saying "goodnight."

That's right! I started with a big one right off the bat! I go to bed early every day because I wake up at 5am for work, and sometimes, if I have spent too much time eating, shopping, and talking with my parents one day, I put on my Hello Kitty pjs, brush my teeth with the toothbrush my mommy bought me, put in the retainer I have worn since high school, and walk directly to my room. No goodnight hugs or kiss. I'm already a grown adult asleep, at 8:30pm.

2. Use heat in the winter.

The holidays are a time for dinners, laughs, and rebelling through passive-aggressive temperature adjustments. It is usually 72 degrees in the house, and I am cold. I wait for my parents to leave to go grocery shopping, and I hike it up to 74 degrees. Sometimes 76. My parents come home. They comment on how warm it is. "Was it always this warm?" they ask. They shrug and turn on the TV. And I take that as time to adjust the temperature back down, but not without a proud smirk on my face. I fooled them once again.

3. "How was work today? Fine."

This one is simple, and it goes a little something like this:

Parent 1: "How was work today?"
You: "Fine."
Parent 2, later: "How was work today?"
You: "Fine."
The next day, Parent 1: "How was work today?"
You: "Fine."
- watch Parent 1's face churn in anger -
Parent 2, after talking to Parent 1 about you: "How was work today?"
You: "Fine."

You eat dinner in your room, across from a Netflix binge marathon. Then, you put on your Hello Kitty pjs, you brush your teeth with the toothbrush your mommy gave you, and you go to bed. Without talking about your day, or saying goodnight.

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