Monday, November 2, 2015

Is My Unibrow Bushy Enough to Distract From My Adult Acne, & 6 Other Ideas For Hiding Zits

If you're like me, you just turned 22, have graduated from college, and moved into an adult 9 to 5 job. Yay, congrats, your care-free live is over! On top of that, remember when you stopped being a teenager, but you kept getting zits? And you didn't really mind because you thought it was just stress from finals and internships and guys?

Yeah, those zits graduated WITH you (totally thought we would drift apart like other college acquaintances.)

And this sucks because I work at a web design company, where I meet with clients on a regular basis. My skin, being incredibly sensitive, gets very irritated with products over time, but obviously, there has to be a solution for on-the-go women like me! Luckily, I have come up with 7 (count them, 7!) fool-proof methods for sensitive-faced working girls who are suffering from adult acne.

1. Grow out that unibrow you have been shaving since middle school. I know, it got you made fun of-BECAUSE it automatically sticks out from the rest of your face!

Also, Frida Kahlo had a unibrow. She was beautiful, right? WWFD (Besides steal someone's man, paint images of her tormented body, and sleep with everyone she knows, unless you are into that.)

2. If you want to keep others from seeing the zits and the unibrow, wear a monkey on your shoulder like in the photo above.

No monkey for an illegal pet? Bring a Cute, Distracting Puppy to Work Day! Celebrate this new holiday every week day!

3. Inappropriate use of costume at an adult age.

Image found on

And, like the great Liz Lemon, OWN IT.

4. Or better yet, Cousin It that zit!

5. The cute puppy (or illegal monkey) in solution #2 led to our solution #5: cute puppy droppings for co-workers and clients to step in (and therefore not notice your hideously-adolescent face.)

6. Face tattoo.

Especially if it's of a skull and cross-bones. 

Or a flower.

7. No solution. Just eat your feelings. You'll be too happy to care about a few small zits.

And again, OWN IT like Liz Lemon!

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