Thursday, November 17, 2016

Reasons I Can Never Be Jane Goodall

This is going to be an ongoing list to remind myself of all the reasons why, despite really wanting to, I can't do what Jane Goodall does.

I have always wanted to study animals, even before I enjoyed research and nonfiction. When I was in middle school, I was immediately struck by the idea what I, with no experience or training, should write the great book on manatees. I'm sure my reasoning for being interested in manatees had something to do with their connection to mermaids. I didn't even like, or tolerate, nonfiction at the time, but I wanted to research manatees and collect all that research in one book, but I never did.

In the end, I became a business major.

Here is my list of reasons why I can't be similar to Jane Goodall (yes, I know she studied chimpanzees not manatees, but after manatees I became very interested in Jane Goodall after becoming very interested in Tarzan):

  1. Reading does not make you an expert or give you the skills you need (for the most part.)
  2. I hate bugs. I scream when I see a tiny ant on my bed.
  3. I become too attached to the smallest bugs. When I kill one and flush it down the toilet, I am immediately coated in grief, regret, and fear for the fate of my soul. It usually ends with me whispering a prayer for the bug's soul and it's family (and I'm not religious.)
  4. I become very irritable in heat.
  5. I become very irritable walking long distances.
  6. I become very irritable without proper feminine products or toilet paper or hand soap.
  7. Sometimes, I'm afraid of dogs. On leashes. And also my own pet dogs that I've had since childhood. How would I handle a chimp or whale?

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